At the 1987 Cannes Film Festival, Charles Band launched a pre-sales campaign for the yet-to-be-filmed Assault of the Killer Bimbos. The title was a hit, so Band hired Gorman Bechard of Psychos in Love and Galactic Gigolo fame to direct. Unfortunately, Bechard’s initial cut was deemed so bad that Band decided to redo the movie entirely. Charlie had David DeCoteau salvage the project, so he hired Anita Rosenberg and Patti Astor to write and direct. Rosenberg and Astor turned in their script, but Empire wasn’t confident, so they had Ted Nicolaou do an extensive rewrite. With a budget of $250,000, this would be Rosenberg’s first feature film, though she was almost replaced during filming. When Empire Pictures got cold feet, they wanted Nicolaou to step in, but he believed in Rosenberg and declined. Ultimately, Anita Rosenberg’s Assault of the Killer Bimbos had a small theatrical run in May 1988.
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Synopsis
Lulu (Elizabeth Kaitan) is a waitress at a go-go club who aspires to be a dancer. With encouragement from her friend, go-go dancer Peaches (Christina Whitaker), Lulu hits the stage but gets booed off. To make matters worse, a sleazy gangster named Big Vinnie (Mike Muscat) kills their boss and frames them for it. The girls decide to flee to Mexico to escape law enforcement until they figure out what to do next. Along the way, they pick up a diner waitress, Darlene (Tammara Souza), who agrees to help them. The girls get into car chases with cops, run into three stoner surfers, and wind up at a fleabag motel. While holding up at the motel, the girls run into Vinnie, who’s there with his girlfriend Poodles (Patti Astor). Vinnie thinks he’s in the clear until he encounters the Assault of the Killer Bimbos!
Review
Despite how sleazy the title sounds, Assault of the Killer Bimbos is light-hearted and less exploitative than expected. Sure, there is some nudity, but for the most part, the female leads keep all their clothes on. Also, contrary to the title, the “bimbos” aren’t killers, nor do they go on an assault. Even if the title doesn’t accurately represent the film, it seems fitting for how wacky and silly it is. B-movie staple Elizabeth Kaitan is as adorable as ever and has fantastic chemistry with Christina Whitaker. Tammara Souza is an excellent addition to the group, though she doesn’t fit what most would call a “bimbo.” It’s also worth noting that this features a relatively-unknown Nick Cassavetes as a stoner/surfer who becomes Kaitan’s love interest. He’s not bad, but I highly doubt the director of The Notebook talks about this movie much.
If the plot sounds familiar, that’s probably because it resembles Ridley Scott’s 1991 film Thema & Louise. Supposedly, the producers of Assault tried suing the makers of Thelma & Louise but withdrew due to legal costs. I’m not saying Scott or Callie Khouri intentionally ripped this off, but it’s a strange coincidence. As for this movie, it’s an interestingly feminist-centric road adventure with some light comedy and various hijinks. Admittedly, several of the jokes don’t land, but a few chuckle-worthy moments are sprinkled in. The movie tends to slow down whenever the stoner surfers are introduced, as they feel out of place. At 85 minutes, the film moves briskly, though a few slow spots could’ve been trimmed. Overall, Assault of the Killer Bimbos might not be what you expect, but it’s a decent watch. Sadly, the same can’t be said for its sister film, but that’s for another day.
Buy Assault of the Killer Bimbos from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3LWjTq3.
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