As I mentioned in my review of Evil Dead II, horror-comedies can be a tricky balance, where sometimes they stray a bit too far into either direction. That being said, the 1980’s seemed to be a great time for horror-comedies given the number of them that came out. Films like An American Werewolf in London, Gremlins, and Ghostbusters have gone on to become certified classics. Then, there are films like Student Bodies, Night of the Creeps, and TerrorVision that, while not as popular, still have become cult favorites. One that is often overlooked that deserves more attention is a little gem from 1987 called Blood Diner. Originally conceived as a pseudo-sequel to the 1963 splatter film Blood Feast, Blood Diner is so outrageous and so over-the-top that once you see it, you’ll never be able to forget it.
%
Rating
We follow two brothers, Georgie and Mikey, who witness their Uncle Anwar (Drew Godderis) being gunned by cops as children. Years later, the two grow up to start their own restaurant. However, it turns out the brothers are cannibals who are serving human meat to their customers disguised as health food. Georgie (Carl Crew) works as the chef, while Mikey (Rick Burks) works the floor. While Georgie is very socially awkward and neurotic, Mikey is very charismatic and a bit of a ladies man. One night, the brothers dig up their uncle’s grave to retrieve his brain and bring it back to life. Once restored, their uncle tells them to prepare a blood buffet and a body to resurrect the goddess Sheetar. The brothers go about killing various women and taking their body parts. Meanwhile, officers Mark Shepard (Roger Dauer) and Sheba Jackson (LaNette La France) are on the trail.
To say that this film is pretty silly would be massively underselling it. This movie is flat-out ridiculous from beginning to end. Between the brain resurrection, the brothers serving human flesh to customers, and them trying to summon an ancient goddess, this is one crazy flick. What makes the movie work especially well are the brothers and the chemistry they have together. Carl Crew plays George with such manic energy and off-the-wall ferocity that it’s fun to see just how crazy he gets. One highlight is when he goes into the ring to fight famed wrestler Jimmy Hitler (yes, seriously). Rick Burks as Mikey, on the other hand, has such a suave charm and personality that you buy how he can have such an effect on women. While not as memorable as Carl Crew, Rick Burks is still fun to watch and he helps balance out Crew’s insanity.
The rest of the cast is also enjoyable, especially Roger Dauer and LaNette La France as Officers Shepard and Jackson. They work well off each other, between Dauer’s blatant chauvinism and La France’s badass take-no-crap attitude. Drew Godderis, though his screen time is limited, is pretty memorable as Uncle Anwar. When he’s on screen, he’s insanely creepy and has a menacing presence to him. When it’s him as the voice of the brain, he’s very funny and sarcastic, especially when he insults his nephews. The movie has so many crazy and memorable moments that I can’t list them all since it would take some of the fun out of discovering it for yourself. Suffice it to say, this movie has topless aerobics, a naked kung-fu chick, zombies, and a stomach vagina that eats people. If none of that entices you, I don’t know what will.
What might be surprising is that the film was directed by a woman, specifically Jackie Kong. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have many directing credits to her name. Including this, she also directed The Being, Night Patrol, and The Under Achievers. Even with a small body of work, her direction is impressive here, and it’s unfortunate she hasn’t done much else. Also, I’d be remiss without mentioning that Rick Burks died two years after the movie in a car accident. While primarily a musician, he still gave a solid performance, and it’s sad what happened to him. Still, the cast and crew have nothing but nice things to say and tell stories about how great he was. Overall, Blood Diner is a true gem in the horror-comedy genre that more people should be made aware of.
