Originally from New York City, Robert Boris has been a writer/director for TV and movies since the early 1970s. His earliest credits included 1973’s Electra Glide in Blue and 1982’s Some Kind of Hero, starring Richard Pryor. Boris won the WGA Award for Original/Adapted Multi-Part Long Form Series for the 1983 made-for-TV movie Blood Feud. In 1984, Boris made his directorial debut with Oxford Blues, the first starring role for a then up-and-coming Rob Lowe. He followed this up with the 1987 action film Steele Justice, which got the attention of Frank Yablans. In 1987, Yablans and Charles Band produced The Caller, the first of two movies they shot back-to-back at Dinocitta. That same year, Yablans hired Boris to direct a prison-set comedy starring Robert Carradine, Michael Winslow, and Malcolm McDowell. Due to Empire Pictures filing for bankruptcy, Buy & Cell wouldn’t be released until early 1989.
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Synopsis
Herbie Altman (Robert Carradine) is sentenced to serve 13 years for stock fraud after being framed by his former boss. He meets with Warden Tennant (Malcolm McDowell), who wants him to help make some investments and make him rich. Altman refuses, so he’s placed in his cell with the smooth-talking hustler Sly (Michael Winslow), who has some outstanding debts. Sly owes $25,000 to fellow inmates Cowboy (Roddy Piper) and Raoul (Tony Plana), so Altman offers to help. Not only does he help Sly pay off his debts, but Altman decides to form his own company, Con Inc. With the help of prison therapist Dr. Ellen Scott (Lise Cutter), Herbie and the other inmates become wealthy investors. Soon, the warden wants a piece of the action, so he and Altman join forces to one-up Altman’s old boss. But whether it’s finances or prison, Herbie can’t catch a break.
Review
Buy & Cell isn’t what you would expect from an Empire Pictures film, which isn’t necessarily bad. Unfortunately, this is a comedy that forgot to be funny since most of the jokes fall flat. This is one of many slobs vs. snobs movies popular in the 80s, like Caddyshack and Police Academy. Sadly, by this point, the formula had gone stale, and they just weren’t as funny as they used to be. It doesn’t help that the “comedy” starts roughly 40 minutes in, as the first act is deadly serious. Just the fact that this supposedly zany comedy begins with a gag involving a suicide attempt is jarring. Even when the humor does kick in, there’s never a moment where I let out anything more than a chuckle. That said, a few lines here and there caught me off guard, so that counts for something.
It’s a shame the film isn’t funny because the cast can deliver laughs in other movies. Robert Carradine, aka Lewis in Revenge of the Nerds, makes for a decent lead and works as the straight man. As always, Malcolm McDowell plays a great villain, and it’s fun seeing him get his comeuppance at the end. Michael Winslow, famous for his sound effects in Police Academy, has sadly run out of steam here. While he doesn’t always make his trademark sounds, it’s pretty clear it was a one-note schtick that’s run its course. The cast also features great character actors like Roddy Piper, Randall ‘Tex’ Cobb, Ben Vereen, and Tony Plana. They do their best to make this 95-minute comedy work, but the material doesn’t give them much to work with. Overall, Buy & Cell is a forgettable comedy with little to offer besides a decent cast.
Watch Buy & Cell on Tubi: https://tubitv.com/movies/712220/buy-and-cell.
