For decades, Charles Band bought numerous properties for his studios to produce some of the strangest movies imaginable. During the Empire Pictures days, he purchased the old Dino De Laurentiis studio outside Rome for filming space. Then, in the early days of Full Moon Features, Band started Castel Film Studios in Romania with Vlad Paunescu. There was even a period in the early 2010s where Full Moon shot some movies in China. In June 2021, Charles Band opened a new studio in the most unlikely of places – Cleaveland, Ohio. As the Akron Beacon Journal reported, Charles Band purchased a Fairmount Avenue home in Cleaveland Heights for filming purposes. Some films made there included Baby Oopsie, The Resonator: Miskatonic U, and Sorority Babes in the Slimebal Bowl-O-Rama 2. Just in time for the holidays, Full Moon put together The 12 Slays of Christmas in the Full Moon Manor.
%
Rating
Synopsis
Friends Britany (Cody Renee Cameron), Mandy (Dare Taylor), and Christine (Lauren Nicole Smith) get stuck while driving through a snowstorm. They take refuge in a nearby manor filled with Christmas gifts, decorations, and a bountiful feast that’s fully prepared. The girls make themselves home when they meet the manor’s lone occupant and caretaker, Ignatius (Tom Fitzpatrick). Delighted to have guests over, he lets them open whatever gifts they want and dine on his feast. One of the girls finds an old book called The 12 Slays of Christmas, which Ignatius happily reads to them. The book contains twelve poems, each about a specific character from Full Moon’s back catalog. Each present the girls open is a miniature figure based on whatever character is being read about. But will the girls’ tow truck arrive on time, and what else does Ignatius have planned for them?
Review
Honestly, I’m not sure if I can call this a movie since it’s short and primarily a clip show. Out of its 45-minute runtime, I’d say about 30 minutes is original footage, and the rest is stock footage. Admittedly, the wraparound segments are well-made and have excellent production value, adding a Christmas-like feel to the experience. The film has a cozy feel with the Christmas tree, colorful lights, and other assorted decorations. As far as the cast goes, the four players do a decent job, though Tom Fitzpatrick is the standout. With a look inspired by Riff Raff from The Rocky Horror Picture Show, he’s having fun with the role. The three central actresses are easy on the eyes and have some fun banter with each other. As a whole, the main story is at least well put together and decently acted.
As for the rest of the movie, there’s not much more to say since it’s mostly stock footage. We get footage from the Puppet Master series, the Demonic Toys movies, the Subspecies franchise, and many more. Admittedly, seeing all this footage made me want to watch those movies instead, but that might’ve been intentional. This feels like a celebration/advertisement of Full Moon’s properties while promoting a new line of merch. The miniature figures the girls unbox seem like figurines that Full Moon could be selling online soon. I should probably be more upset that this is a glorified clip show/advertisement, but I can’t be mad. At 45 minutes, it didn’t take too much of my time, it didn’t look cheap, and the acting was fine. Overall, The 12 Slays of Christmas isn’t terrible, but if you want a Full Moon movie for Christmas, watch Trancers.
Watch The 12 Slays of Christmas on Full Moon Features: https://bit.ly/3FRYmur.
